To stay or to leave?

So much has been said about changing of a work environment, what is holding me back?
Never thought a decision like this would be so hard to make.
5 years i have been there and i yearn so much to get out.
Yet, in face with the chance, i could not decide.
I wouldn't know myself if i am going to stay in the army throughout.
I know part of me does not want to.
So, where do that leaves me?
What's so tough making this big decision?

Work environment vs Career prospect
Staying put meant 5 more years at where i am but with an easier road to promotion.
Staying put meant that life will be the same and an easier life.
Life is not going to be fulfilling.
I will be just a engineer in a military police uniform.
Leaving meant starting all over again in a new environment.
Learning new things, getting recognition, starting from scratch.
Will I be happy there?
What if my decision to leave prove to be wrong?
The competition are stiffer there and there is no gurantee that it could be better.
I had to work doubly harder.
Or is it better for me to stay till a higher rank and go back?
I would probably not wait till then.
No one knows what will happen in the future.
But is the future that you see that will determine your decision now.
So what is my decision?
To stay or to leave?

到底為了什麼?
做的一切為了誰?
始終沒人了解.
做了再多還不如一句,"我愛你".

我不需問自己要付出多少,
因為我已給了你全部.
有用嗎?
感受的到嗎?
感受的到就不會說那番話了.

不知道該說什麼,
也不知道該做什麼.
說了沒人理解,
做了沒人明白.

或許真的..淡淡的 就好吧..

人生真是很奇妙,
有時苦,有時樂,有時卻讓人不知所措.

一只都不停地問自己,
要的人生到底是什麼.
滿足於現狀,
或試去改變.
當你喜歡你的工作時,
那再也不是工作, 而是人生.
當你不喜歡你的工作時,
那不再是人生.
又有多少人會去冒這個險,
改變這穩定的生活,
去嘗試一個不確定的領域.

我的人生就只能這樣嗎?
把自己關在一個小框裡,
看人臉色,
毫無目的的工作.
究經是為了什麼?

我錯了

怎麼做才好,
做什麼才算好.
頓時心裡好難受.
幹嘛把事情搞成這樣.
這就叫珍惜嗎?

當旁觀者能理智劝告,
當局者卻不知所措.
為什麼不能去多注意, 多諒解
非得等到痛苦的時候才後悔.

聽到了冷漠,
感受到了失望.
看著電話, 了解了思念.
閉上眼, 寒流湧上了心頭.
一切都自做自受.

冷冷的表情,
酷酷的臉,
說不出我一萬個思念.
即使再不捨,
也要硬撐著.

你或許無法理解,
但我還是想讓你知道,
我是多麼的不捨....

Spending your weekend at home may not be such a bad idea after all.
Giving an unseen comfort to the mind and a good rest to the body.
It certainly helps to ease one's mind and time to think about.

Life has been this way for the past few years.
No changes, just monotonous.
I'm getting so tired of where i am now.
No motivation and no purpose.
Whether i work or not, i still get that paycheck every month.
Most people love that, except for a handful who feels that they could do so much more.
So much so for those who left became better.
We fought a war within ourselves everyday.
How to make our lives better or at least worth living.

I don't hate my life.
I just can't find that purpose of my life.
Undeniable, i thought about my life a lot.
About what i should do, what i could do to make it worthwhile.
I'm fortunate for what i have today.
I did not earn it by myself, i was left with it.

Somehow, i know i would be better off out there.
Doing what i like and making the most out of myself.
Just give me a couple of years more, i will make a difference.
You would treasure it more if you earned it yourself.

out of difficulties, makes miracles

不知不覺被你的情緒影響,
整個人就悶了起來.
唯一希望的就是你能了解我.
或許我真的沒表示的很明顯,
可是心一定是真的.
我不是一個每天會說喜歡你,
但我一定會珍惜.

際遇

人生有時就是這麼難以預料.
這條路絕對不好走,
竟管如此, 還是決定放手一博.
只少嘗試過也經歷過.
不過結果如何, 這是我的決擇.

希望九月快點過

Mission complete

What would you be doing 530am on a Sunday morning?
Probably sleeping, i guess..
Well, i was at esplanade.
No, not because i have not gone back home after some party.
I was there getting ready to run.
Yes, you did not get that wrong. I was there to run.
It was one of those morning when time seems to stop and
there was only one thing in mind..get to the finish line..
2hrs of run was no easy feat.
Not just a jog in the park or a stroll.
It was a gruelling 21km, mentally tested, physically stretched run.
What am i searching for in the wee hours when i could lie
comfortably in my bed enjoying my sleep.
All for the sake of that moment when you cross the finish line
and you know that all the preparation had bear fruits.
That sense of satisfaction and achievement is what push me further.
I'm glad i finished the race. It never felt any better...

mentally tired, physically strained..

Finally woke up after my morning run.
Finished my first 21km this morning.
Can't believe it's so tiring!
At least i met my target of finishing under 2hrs..
Although it's just a little under 2hrs, it's still good enough for a first-timer..

Wonder how it feels like completing a full marathon..
I just couldn't imagine..
But i'm still going to do it.
It's going to be great physical and mental challenge.
Got to train hard..
Now it's payback time, gotta eat to my fullest..

22days to go..

Gone Too Soon...

Today we celebrated the life of a true icon.
The final curtain call for the King of Pop.
Watching the memorial brought back many memories.
Not only the memories of childhood but the memories with ur loved ones.

Life has always been so fragile.
Whether you were a popstar or just a man in a crowd, death has never eluded us.
Memories were flooding back in, along with sorrow and regrets.
It was never death that was scary but the death of your close ones.
I finally realised it's not death till us part but rather death brought us together..in our hearts.

I had always wondered what life meant.
Living for almost a century gone..just like this.
It is saddening when you had not done enough,
when you know what you could have done.
There will never be another you...and i would never forget..

i miss you...